Exposure to these bacteria can lead to fun things like typhoid fever, hepatitis A and dysentery, none of which will make your next sexual encounter particularly exciting. Depending on what state you're in and what you were doing, you may end up facing felony charges, 20 years in prison and some melted Junior Mints in your ass.
It's like have sex in a kitchen cabinet, but imagine that there were a bunch of faucets and handles inside your cabinet jabbing you in the ass. A couple were found dead in Glacier National Park back in after being attacked by a bear and it was speculated that sex is what had attracted the bear in the first place.
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What could be hotter than dipping your naked hide in water infused with chlorine and urine, while a pool noodle bobs obscenely along with your ungainly and hard-to-maintain humping? So while the idea of car sex may be kind of hot, when you factor in the intense insanity of being horribly distracted in a fast moving chunk of metal and flammable liquids, it loses a bit of its appeal.
It's natural then that the allure of sex in a plane has become so ingrained in our deviant fantasies. Probably the numerous people who have been in accidents while having sex in the car.
The prospect of being jammed in a tiny, ripe coffin-sized-bathroom when you hit a patch of rough turbulence that results in you getting wedged somewhere that, when you really, really think about it, you don't want to be wedged can't be entirely alluring either.
But recent research by some scientists has shown that sand, awesome filter of filth that it is, can collect big, fatty loads of that bacteria with the ebb and flow of tides. The same stall where a nightclub full of tanked strangers have been visiting all night.
Pool sex has the unwholesome side effect of teaching you just how shitty water is as a lubricant while at the same time delighting you with the possibility of forcing water deep into your unmentionable places, leading to infections. Who are you to complain?